It feels like..
It’s only at the day night..
Is this real?
Or is this just a dream?
Deputy “I’m-A-Model-In-My-Spare-Time” Jordan Parrish
One year of working in a school. I never thought I will be a teacher. Taking care of little kids which I found very annoying and made me scared before. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I love being near them. I was just scared I will do something bad and make them in danger.
Years ago, I can’t even teach my sister her lessons. I was selfish and just think about what I want to do. I remembered I easily got pissed to my sister because she can’t understand what I explained. I got frustrated, so did she. That made me think I will never be a teacher because I never really smart like my father, or have patience like my mother. I am just different.
But God has proven that I was wrong. I can be near kids, and surprisingly, I am teaching them something. God added little patience everyday, God gave me a humble heart to learn something new, added little knowledge about this and that every day, and pouring His unconditional love to my heart day by day. It was something I never thought will happen in my life. It is such a blessing to see their smile and listen to their laughter, or simply their beyond imagination debate with their friends on break time. It’s such a bliss to listen to their thoughts, or hearing they said good morning every day.
It always amazed me how the kids obey and listen to their teachers and parents even though they are scared, and by that they force themselves to do whatever we asked them to do, and trust their teachers and parents that it was for their own good. It touched my heart when I saw they can fight with each other, cried, but then they easily forgive each other and play together again, as if there was nothing happened between them. Even the most quiet kid has something on their mind and once he/she speaks up, it will surprise you a lot.
They are just important, and amazing, and special. Every smile, tears, laughter, problems, will lead them and help them to be better as the time goes by.
I am not a mother yet, but I am glad I can help and have cute little kids at school. They are the source of my happiness. They are the joy God gives to fill my day and makes it brighter. They teach me new things every day. They are just amazing, no words can describe how amazing they are. Special, just because God made them just like that.
I am thankful God put me at SPH Lippo Cikarang, tho. Junior School team is my new family. The joy we shared, the moments, the experiences I got there, are irreplaceable. They are amazing. They are amazing.
On her high school image: “I was a huge nerd. I had giant curly hair-like if I was a cartoon character, I probably would have a huge triangle drawn for my head. I was painfully awkward, and I was valedictorian but I was also voted funniest girl because I think I just ingratiated myself into every group by being funny.”
Blank. I do feel that. Like you have so many things to do but you don’t know where to start. You lose your focus. The clock is ticking, and all you do is sitting on your chair, and staring blankly to whatever it is in front of you and BOOM! You realized that you need to do so many things but your mind, your brain, your body just can’t move.
I felt that. Oh, yeah. I feel like I want to do nothing. I just want to lay on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling and think about the unthinkable. I feel like I need to let my imagination, my brain, my mind, my spirit, to do whatever they want, to have fun with themselves. I feel so restless.
But then I realized, there was only one reason why I felt like this. I lose my focus. That’s the problem. When I started losing my focus, which is can be happened because of so many factors, I started to lose everything.
Then I started thinking about what happened in the past. I ever felt like this before, so I tried to find out how to handle this. It’s time for me to have my me time. It’s time for me to stop for a while and just close my eyes, take a deep breath and relax. Like what I always tell to my students when they started to lose control, "smell the flowers, blow the candles". Somehow it really works.
This is another random thing I wrote because I just want to write something in the middle of the chaos I am facing right now. Please don’t forget to keep managing your time since we only have 24 hours perday, and our productive hours is only about 10-15 hours perday. If you are sleepy, go grab coffee. Or your favorite drinks. Chill out. I love spending my free time on Saturday only to look outside through the window and think about how beautiful and amazing the world God has created, also how great is His love and kindness to me, and He let me to enjoy the world He created.
Even in my weakness, He still gives me strength.If He did it to me, He surely will do it to you too!
So I DO have that skills? Oh wow.
And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright.